Three Points Everyone – How Homeworkgate could have been avoided

Yesterday morning, I was wondering how slowly time passes by while one waits for the next cricket match featuring the Indian team. Then without warning, the cricket universe erupted in furor over the axing of four Australian cricketers from the Mohali game. Reason? The four players had failed to turn over an assignment to the coach within the imposed deadline. Task? Give at least three pointers about what the team had learnt from their drubbing in the first two tests and how they could improve over the remainder of the series. Predictably, Twitter and Facbook had a field day mercilessly mocking Mickey Arthur and the Aussie team. It seemed like an over-reaction from a frazzled team management in the middle of an important series gone terribly wrong.

A day later, mockery has given way to a more pragmatic understanding of the situation. The punishment may have been harsh, but it does seem like a reasonable request from the coach and captain to provide one’s input on how things can change for the better. After all, how hard is it to come up with a minimum of three pointers on how to improve the Australian performance? Especially, since they had five days to come up with it! Here are some of my suggestions, if the four players had the foresight to outsource their assignment to social media.

  1. Ask for bouncy pitches
  2. Get laughed at
  3. Tell the opposition we’ll seem them in Australia

 

  1. Bowl in the right areas
  2. Execute our skills
  3. Listen less to Ravi Shastri’s commentary

 

  1. Bat better
  2. Bowl better
  3. Field better

 

  1. Ask Pujara what he has for breakfast
  2. Ask the Indian spinners for tips on how to play them
  3. Ask Jadeja for fielding tips

 

  1. Eat
  2. Pray
  3. Love

 

  1. Get a better coach
  2. Haha..I was kidding. I meant “coach” as in bus
  3. Pack my bags

 

  1. Less presentations
  2. More net practice
  3. Pack my bags

 

  1. Bat like Clarke
  2. Bowl like Pattinson
  3. Field like Warner

 

  1. Don’t bat like Hughes
  2. Don’t bowl like Maxwell
  3. Don’t field like Cowan

 

  1. Import batsmen from South Africa
  2. Import spinners from Pakistan
  3. Import coach from Zimbabwe
  4. (bonus) Pack my bags.

“Sigh. I hope I can still carry drinks.”

 

 

3 comments

  1. I love it – bat better, bowl better, field better. It doesn’t get simpler than that.

    You are right that people are seeing it all with more sensible eyes today. Mickey Arthur’s press conference, in which he was very angry, makes me wonder if the players were downright rude and disrespectful about having to do it.

    Nonetheless, it’s still funny. Of course, I’m an Aussie. I have to laugh about something on this tour or I mght cry.

    1. I can actually picture Watson and Johnson as being rude or disrespectful…don’t know much about Pattinson or Khawaja though…

      and commiserations…believe it or not…I know how being a fan of a team getting thumped overseas feels ;P

      1. They are the two I thought may have been a bit rude, too. It’s hard to know about Khawaja and Pattinson, but I guess you just never know. Mickey Arthur looked like he was funing in that press conference, so I think there’s something more than just “they didn’t fo their homework”.

        Yeah, getting thumped bites. Especially with the Ashes coming up. England already laugh at us, we don’t need to be giving them more fuel.

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